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So. I prayed. I quit my job (last day-next Thurs). I have thrown caution to the wind and am road trippin it with my dears Heather and Amanda (and Shawna-can’t wait to meet that girl!). I am beyond pumped and am counting down the days til next Friday. San Fran (and pretty much the rest of the state) here I come!! woohooo!!!
God show us what you are up to in the land where everyone is tan, happy cows come from, and former bodybuilding actors hold high state offices.
YAY!!!!
I just got the word…I am no longer homeless in Athens come next Thurs. My old college buds Melissa and Wade (who are also newlyweds, I might add) have graciously invited me into their home and spare ‘oom for two weeks (he he…spare ‘oom…Narnia…get it??)
My fleece is still out. And yes, HC and Manders I am praying about Cali. I just want to do what the Lord wants me to do…not what I want to do. Cause I want to go to Cali-for sure.
Stay tuned for up to the minute details on Operation: what the crap is Jessica doing with her life.
Well. It is official. My sister is moving Jan. 17th (yes, that is next Thurs.) to Orlando, FL. So–what does that mean?? I have no idea.
Basically, God is just going to have to show up with this one. If He wants me to stay in Athens, a cheap place for me to stay will be provided for. If not, I know that for some reason my time in Athens is done. So here is my fleece: I am continuing at my job until Jan 31st (hopefully crashing at a friend’s place). After that, if no doors open- its me and my stuff back to my parents, and then some serious seeking the Lord’s face. Which will probably involve me getting the heck out of Dodge for a couple of weeks. So, Cairo, get my old room ready. You may be seeing me soon.
you are still Holy
even when darkness surrounds my life
Soverign, you are still soverign
even when confusion blinds my eyes.
You are still who you say you are. You still do the things that your Word promises. I need to recognize you for who you are.
So I come into your chambers and I dance at your feet
You are my savior and I’m at your mercy.
Everything in my life until now….
my life, my future, my family, my sister, my hurt heart, my pride, where I live come Jan 18th,
It all belongs to you.
Lay it all down, lay it all down, lay it all down
5:00 am wake-up call for work.
Call from sis while at work saying she has to take another job and we have to move by the end of the month (meaning I am homeless, except for the ‘rents-and if them-jobless). Wondering why God called me to spend time with my sister and now she is moving to probably another state. Wondering why I found this awesome community through house church and I may not be around to deepen it. (there is your bomb, Sara).
Wallet was stolen over Christmas. Went to go get a new drivers licensce –walked out without one. Urgh.
Gave into materialism and bought something I didn’t need with money I don’t really have. Now it is unreturnable.
While giving in to said materialism, my sword of the spirit ring slipped off my finger in the store, currently nowhere to be found. I feel like crying. I think it was significant that it happened as I was doing that. It has been such a struggle not to let the world and material things take hold of me again.
<sigh>one of those days.
Lord, I trust you. Give me grace to trust you more.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE MCCLURES!!
Aint we cute?? (and yes, my southern accent is back in full force;) First family pic since I wore pink dresses and little kid tights. No joke. God totally blessed me and surprised the heck out of me this certain observance of his son’s birth. I <GASP> actually enjoyed being around my family. And we enjoyed one another. Was it the Brady Bunch?? No…but as close as our family could get, I believe. We cooked breakfast, saw Avery and Peyt’s gifts, went to my aunt’s and visited, opened our own gifts, and went to a movie. And we enjoyed it. Still can’t get over that one. Thank you, Jesus!
I pray for more of Him this 2008. Happy New Year!
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:11
There are times when I forget that this verse is true. This past week was one of those times. After surprising myself with how even-steven I have been during the continous drama that is my family, and now, apparently, my job, I have found myself to the point of rage this past week. I knew it had to happen eventually, I guess. Confusion and disorganization at my job has irritated. One particular co-worker and his personality grated on me to the point of snapping the other night–and we exchanged some words. Lovely. Yes, he was rude and wrong and arrogant and flamboyantly a passive agressive girl about EVERYTHING–but here I go stooping to his level-with the justification (in my own head) that I was going to be clear from the get-go that I wasn’t taking his crap. So Jesus is sent out the window as I decide to take care of busisness myself. I am concerned and weary of seeing my mother upset on an almost daily basis by this family drama. I am shocked at the behavior of my aunt and uncle-who I thought I knew so well-the words they have said-the lies being thrown around. I do not even know how to respond to them anymore. I turn on the T.V. and see what passes for entertainment in our society-a reality show about a girl named Tequila who is bisexual and both men and women are competing for her affections-complete with her meeting their grandmas (she welcomes one granny with a lap dance-I am not even joking). I listen to NPR and I hear the mayor of Green Bay, WI getting lambasted for keeping a nativity scene on top of city hall–and him stuttering and stumbling through his explanation (its…er…you know…we are celebrating, you know Christmas, so…its about family values, I guess..er)
And….I forget. I forget my fight is not against my dramatic, crazy family. Or my two faced co-workers, or who’s on the T.V., or the people who are trying to secularize EVERY little thing.
I don’t fight like the world fights. Or-I am not called to. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with it all, my flesh rises up, my selfishness takes over. I can so easily dismiss that power that raised Christ from the dead, power freely given to me. And as I revolt against the world, I end up using their tactics. Gosh.
Allen Hood said one time. “Our weapons are mighty. They have the power to bring down strongholds. And this power is brought in meekness and lowliness.” My actions this past week have shown that I believe all this is a lie.
Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.
that’s what my Starbucks job makes me do. GRR. Need patience. Lots of patience. Need grace. Lots of grace. I am dangerously short on both….
“I am sorry, Jessica. If someone pops off to me I am not going to not react. I’m sorry, but that is just how it is”
This is one of the many quotes I could throw around that I have heard over the past week. I have had intense conversations with my mom, both her sisters, and my grandmother. Honestly, I am so sick of talking I could puke. When you strip away the he said/she said, the years of hurt and misunderstanding, and all the excuses, it all boils down to the ability to see where each person has done wrong, repent, and ask forgiveness. In one word: Humility
But why is that so hard for us as humans? It is contradictory to the very core of our nature. We want to be right. We feel the need to protect ourselves, defend ourselves. It is easier to place the blame somewhere else than own up to our shortcomings.
A quick look up on biblegateway.com shows the upside down view that Christ’s kingdom has-whoever humbles himself will be exalted (Matt 18:4), in humility consider others better than yourself (Phil 2:3), with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2). In 1 Corinthians 2 Paul describes humility personified:
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Not much for us to argue with here. As believers (which, each member of my family that is apart of this claims to know and love Jesus) we are compelled-no-commanded to be like Him. Follow Him. Bring His Kingdom near. Only that can bring abundant life. Only that can free us from the sin that so easily entangles us.
Humility is key. Can we get over ourselves enough to open the door?
I finally broke down to the pressure and resumed blogging (on an actual site) after almost a two year hiatus. Cairo crew, this is mostly for you. But really more for me to communicate with you. I wish I could talk to each of you every day-like the last two years of my life has consisted. And let’s be honest, the phone is not a real good friend of any of us. Carney being the exception to that rule;)
That being said–this blog isn’t for the general public consumption. So, please, don’t add it to your blog rolls or anything. If I send it to you, I want you to read it. And if you have randomly stumbled upon it, well I guess the Lord has a plan for that, too.
“Drink of the grace in which you stand”
I gazed at this phrase on the wall as I was in the prayer house here in Athens. I was transfixed on it for a pretty good length of time. This season for me is full of His grace. Grace to get me up and face the multiple fires of my family, grace to give me His assurance and steadfastness in the midst. It is all Him. For once in my life, I am really letting Him show me grace. What is that Misty Edwards song? Finally I Surrender…
What did I say about Cairo before? It’s hard. It’s good. It is where I am supposed to be.
Another place of hardness and goodness. Thank you Jesus.
So. Read. Laugh. Cry. Comment-to your hearts content. Even though my aunt Barbara just told me that her seven year old granddaugher is getting one of those Juke phones for Christmas-and put on their family plan (??!!!) technology is good for some things;)
Peace and love to you all.
Back to Egypt... 